drawings, animations, whatever i decide is art.

6/2/2024 i have been working on an animation for the song "king of sludge mountain" by sloppy jane. it is taking ages but im having a lot of fun watching it all come together! i have been changing my outlook on art. i dont need to draw or anything. but i can because i WANT to. i dont need to post anything anywhere. but i can. and i like to when i feel like it. i don't care about trends, algorithims, or anything. i don't need to have internet happy points to feel good about my art or myself. people will see it, even this, or they wont. and i don't care either way because i am doing what i feel like in a space i created myself. and i think that is more important than anything for an artist. ive been burned out by algorithims before. comparing myself to others and quitting art for a long time as a result. there is no joy in that. that's why i dont use main forms of social media like instagram. i have a twitter but i am going to delete it because its boring and i never use it haha. but anyways, for the first time in a long time i have found that creative part of me that i love so dearly. 5/29/2024 i was up all night animating and doodling, and then FINALLY fell asleep when the sun came up. now it is midnight but i feel like my day just started. at least i have passion at least! 5/27/2024 i think too much about what i am GOING to make instead of what i can/am making in the moment. so i like to shut my brain off when i work. 300mg anti depressants, 50mg anti anxiety, and a strawberry flavored cart that makes me cough so hard i dry heave. that is my creative process now, i can't silence my self doubt and hatred. but i can sedate myself enough to focus on what i am doing. that may sound strange to some, but if i could paint a picture of the inside of my head i would paint a bullet in there. i decide that suicide is an art form today. but i don't want to go back to the loony bin. so i will end it here, and trust that i am NOT going to kill myself. i do not have plans to kill myself anymore, and i have at least 3 reasons to stay alive. (iykyk) (👍≖‿‿≖)👍GoobGirl

ART